sthompson18

2009-08-14 05:34:46 say, death panelists should be required to wear big floppy shoes.

2009-08-13 22:20:51 say, new Bucks for Bizzonkers plan: trade in weirdo wing-nut hysteria for a Shiny New Car! A Red Car!

2009-08-13 14:50:16 say, Granny, the bad news is Christmas is off the table--nfw. The good news? You'll see jacko WAY BEFORE the rest of us!

2009-08-13 14:00:28 say, hey Euripedes, lighten up already!

2009-08-13 04:26:44 say, got a hankerin' for a kick-ass celeb megafuneral.

2009-08-12 19:10:31 say, I'm going to start using my Kennedy name: Sargent, biatch!

2009-08-11 13:14:22 say, bored. I think I'll shout down a town hall meeting while joke-arresting an Asian on his porch.

2009-08-10 18:08:07 say, just found out cheerios aren't made by chef boyardee.

2009-08-10 17:45:20 say, Lincoln, Socrates, Shakespeare, Gandhi, and taco bell chihuahua. #bring5alive

2009-08-10 17:15:13 @toddbarry hey uncle Todd, it doesn't take three years to buy cigarettes. come home already!

2009-08-10 17:06:38 say, "mike'd up!" theme just helped me rally. thanks big guy!

2009-08-09 06:59:31 say, wondering how I'd know whether there's a bustle in my hedgerow. clueless.

2009-08-07 16:54:28 @timcrane lost your picture?

2009-08-07 16:52:15 @TristanTaormino cheers!

2009-08-07 12:40:37 say, green effing shoots.

2009-08-07 11:16:25 say, biggest pile of crapola and foolishness I ever heard. Cmon america!

2009-08-07 05:09:03 say, glad I got these socks darned. #howtowatchmetsgames

2009-08-07 04:16:53 say, we were THIS CLOSE to having to say the name "Squeaky" with a straight face.

2009-08-07 00:48:50 say, '80s--We Hardly Knew Ye.

2009-08-05 20:22:40 say, new Cash for Clunker-Fake-Term-Papers plan. Good move, O.

2009-08-05 15:03:33 say, Clinton plane bumper sticker: "if this plane's a-rockin', get ur ass in here biatch!"

2009-08-05 13:19:10 say, Clinton plane "subdued" despite Turtle and Drama's on-board antics.

2009-08-05 13:12:10 say, Clinton plane delayed take-off when Turtle wouldn't turn off iPhone.

2009-08-05 13:06:16 @philosophydan 50 pounds--that's like a whole kid. Good for you.

2009-08-05 12:23:43 say, Guinness confirms that Clinton plane featured World's Largest In-Flight Mojito.

2009-08-05 02:38:18 say, mathlete practice went pretty well--factored polynomials all night. #howtowatchmetgames

2009-08-05 02:36:22 say, anyone know if bill clinton knows any baseball? could use him in queens. gm opening.

2009-08-05 02:34:28 say, they're running amok in queens.

2009-08-05 02:09:56 say, cleon, satchmo, and the big O--lots of birthdays.

2009-08-05 02:02:31 say, mets need more math.

2009-08-05 01:57:29 @julie_bush clever h1n1.

2009-08-05 00:31:10 say, now that the hoodwinking has ceased, the bamboozling shall commence.

2009-08-04 13:11:10 say, richard hake versus soterios johnson: SoJo by, like, a bazillion. Fact.

2009-08-04 05:25:24 say, how come post-it notes you steal from work are always those weird ass colors?!

2009-08-04 03:04:52 say, I don't know; what are the hours? #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 03:03:41 say, single payer yes--long as it ain't ME, biatch! #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:59:37 say, can I keep my Wiccan orthodontist? #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:57:58 say, go back to Indokenya, and take the wise Latina with you. #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:56:35 say, oh begeezus my leg hurts. #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:51:21 say, WHOA--dogs drinking from the toilet. #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:49:28 say, I'm against brushing my teeth in the port authority bathroom. #antiobamahealthcare

2009-08-04 02:35:40 @thelittleidiot summer: cleavage, cleavage, cleavage.

2009-08-04 02:34:42 @MikeFrancesaNY you're on tonight Mike!

2009-08-03 18:56:35 say, still seeking custody of Blanket. fingers crossed, face-twitter-ati!

2009-08-03 18:26:09 @susanorlean amen! re McCain birther paradox.

2009-08-03 18:24:36 @M_R_Houston tell the French to go back to Paris or wherever--america's a no-grunting zone.

2009-08-03 15:32:24 say, traded in my clunker for cash but filled out kars-for-kids paperwork--used rebate and tax deduction to buy a boat.

2009-08-03 02:40:24 say, feeling the usual regret after the 10-year reunion of the mathletes academy alums.

2009-08-03 02:37:32 say, ran late for my meet-and-greet, so just got drunk.

2009-08-03 02:36:09 say, lesson learned: if you time travel and meet Lincoln, don't make fun of that whole "four score and seven years ago" thing.